This is the next post but i couldn’t resist doing it today…i just couldnt…

So like I would like to make my addition to the fight against HIV and AIDS.
This here is the absolutest foolproof strategy to make sure (in my old school we’d have said “ensure”) that we all survive the Virus and this is how;

The ABCD Strategy.

A is for Abstinence.
If you can’t handle the shit, stay outta the swimming pool.

B is for Be Faithful.
Find the right person, fall in love and stay true to them. In truth and deed. In thought and action. Perv all you want as long as you do nothing about it and you do not be as if confess…confessing your bu thing-things to your significant other.

C is for Condoms.
Ushs 500 for Protector, Ushs 2,500 for Rough Rider, Ushs 5,000 for Durex. Available at all reputable pharmacies, clinics, shops, dukas and those chicks who sell roast g-nuts and fags outside da club. Condoms cost Ushs 500, “Morning After” costs Ushs 5,000, y’all do the math.

D is for Dildos. & Vibrators. & Rabbits.
If none of the above work for you, fear not, there is an alternative as I have lately come to learn. D.I.Y; that means Do It Myself. Sorry, Yourself. Last Sunday a close friend of the family came home, walked into my room as I lay in bed polishing off the last few episodes of the first season of LOST. She proceeded to lay a gift package on my bed and ask me to open it. Upon doing so, I spied in plastic packaging what on first inspection looked like a huge purplish-pink lollipop. The expression on her face indicated however that this was anything but a lollipop. So I asked, “what, my fair lady, might this item of suspect origin be?” whereupon my fair lady implored me to open it. So I took another look. And did a double take when I realized what it was I held in my hands – with nothing but a thin sheet of plastic to keep us apart.

Disclaimer;
When I watched “300” I identified with Leonidas, not with Xerxes or the Arthenian boy lovers that my hero, Leonidas, scoffed at. Therefore just because I held in my hand what to all intents and purposes was, is, a dildo/vibrator/whatever, does not mean that y’all can now make value judgements about me and my orientation. I can still kick muthaf..king ass. But then again, so can Wentworth Miller aka Michael Scofield, and I know he’s Vin Diesel’s babe.

So I looked at my lady friend and asked what y’all must be wondering, “WTF?”
She laughed her dainty laugh and flounced off leaving her business on my bed. So obviously, there’s a bunch of sisters out there (yes you and the one sitting two seats over) who be taking care of business for yourselves, holding it down and keeping it real like that. Fellas, the next time you catch a sister buying Double “A” batteries in the supermarket, I wanna bet it ain’t for her alarm clock or TV remote, more likely it gon be for her “rabbit.”

Advertisements
This is the next post but i couldn’t resist doing it today…i just couldnt…

22 thoughts on “This is the next post but i couldn’t resist doing it today…i just couldnt…

  1. Cheri says:

    Hehehe, Phantom…he’s a gone case.

    Deg, told u about Rabbits my dear….It’s just u and I that aren’t using them.

    Lol ABCD!

    Like

  2. Fujitsu says:

    Kale, Cheri has corrupted everyone. Pandora’s box is now open bulungi nyo and all that’s left in it is hope.

    Hope that Wentworth Miller is NOT GAY as you allege.

    For Pete’s sake, brotha’s BLACK! How do you go from THAT to GAY?

    What’s that? There ARE black gay men somewhere in the world….? Who says? STOP, STOP! You blaspheme!!

    And now for my disclaimer. I looove gay people. Even have a copla friends who are gay. They just haven’t ventured out of the closet yet.

    Like

  3. ‘And did a double take when I realized what it was I held in my hands – with nothing but a thin sheet of plastic to keep us apart.’…Leonidas would be very mad at you…very mad..good to have you back matey..

    Like

  4. cheri,
    said friend is ur tight, apparently y’all b having tea parties togetha n shit

    iwa,
    munange, d gu thing made my bu things look like pee wee herman! how to minister to her with it?

    fuji,
    scofield is black!?

    Like

  5. What happened to my comment? Deg, did you delete my comment wherefore whence I said the B stood for blowjob?

    Wentworth is not black, he is a pink frilly fairy with a toyboy who calls him Wentie.

    Sorry, ladies. I don’t make the news, I just report it.

    Like

  6. Wentworth is black?! Phew!didn’t know how i was going to get that past mummy.

    @Baz: Pssst!

    am going to go claim the money we spent on sex education in high school.they didn’t tell me anything close to this!

    Like

  7. Fujitsu says:

    I have proof that Scoffield, er Wentworth, has black gold running in his veins. See the movie ‘the human stain’. That’s art imitating life.

    But you know how we black folk be: if he’s out there achieving, getting paid, he’s black. If he’s robbing SUVs, getting caught with the crowbar in his hand and still sayin’ ‘it wasn’t me’, he’s black. If he loses the court case and they throw his sorry ass in jail, brotha’s definitely black.

    But if he starts talking about his boyfriend Vin Diesel, hell, that’s the white part of his heritage.

    Like

  8. Cheri says:

    Lol Phantom ati, big white birthmark!

    Wentworth is so GAY and so White. He wanna turn black… but nay!

    I have this massive crush on Vin Diesel then found out he was left handed. So as Wentie. Am I jinxed….Anybody knows about Derek Luke’s sexual orientation?

    Like

Replies, if you please

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s